What do you do when two people want different things? You want to meet at 11:30am, the other person wants to meet at 9:00am. You want to do something for an hour, the other person wants to do something all day. Is there such thing as a win-win or will someone always “lose”?
When both people dig in their heels about what they want, it’s likely that neither one of you thinks you’ll be seen unless you get your way. And rather than talking about your fear of getting drowned by the relationship, you jockey for power in the logistics.
We hide behind logistics when we don’t want to name the actual dynamic, but when we’re willing to take a step back and recognize our deepest desire (to be seen, to be valued, to matter), then we can focus on getting our needs met. It almost always enables us to find a workable solution for the logistics stand-off too.