It’s hard to go cold turkey on a habit, behavior, or activity that we are trying to cut. Why? Because behind every thing we do there’s an underlying emotional reasoning for how we’ve come to do it. For example, I hate admitting when I feel lonely or sad, and do a lot of things to avoid those feelings, like suddenly checking social media or ranging around the kitchen snacking on things.
A more effective (and self-honoring) way to make a shift is to trace back to the emotions underneath the current action and brainstorm alternative ways to get that need met. The new actions can be simple, like putting our hands on our heart when we feel lonely or giving ourselves a hug when we feel sad. Identifying actions that meet our needs more directly are more effective than just cutting things out.
In fact, when we focus on what we’re adding in, chances are we’ll naturally shift away from our old patterns.