It’s easier to blame a relationship breakdown on the inability to communicate, than it is to consider that maybe we didn’t want to hear what was being said. And on the flip side, we often mistake being seen and affirmed the way we want to be seen and affirmed as an indicator of “good communication”. When there are only two categories for communication we write off the truth that’s indirectly shared in “bad” communication and favor the surface level exchange of “good” communication.
What would change about our relationships if we listened for what’s being communicated (including via silence) and went for greater emotional depth by saying the next thing we’re afraid to say?