We often spend more time trying to figure out where we stand in relationship to other people than we spend actually getting to know them.
- Who is wittier (sarcasm as a defense)
- Who is smarter (intellect as a defense)
- Who asks better questions (deflection as a defense)
The list goes on…but the trick to navigating interactions where you start to compare yourself in these ways is to figure out what it is the other person is most likely wanting underneath their wit, smarts, thoughtfulness, etc. After all, most interactions are a standoff of defenses, we just don’t realize it because we’re more focused on defending ourselves.