There are two assumptions we make when we say that we need to protect our closest friends and family by not saying things that might hurt them.
First, we withhold what we actually want to say and disregard their innate resilience.
Second, we don’t do anyone any favors by keep the truth from them. People can sense when we say something we don’t fully mean or we don’t fully believe.
We are much better off focusing our energy on learning how to say what we want to say in a way that maintains rapport. When we are aware of the potential pain someone may feel, we can be there to support, without assuming responsibility for how they feel. We can’t make someone feel a certain way. However, we can commit to putting in the time to repair relationship breaches. It will serve the relationship far more than withholding what we feel.