When it comes to expressing our feelings and choices, we’re usually pretty imprecise with our language. Yet the words we use solidify the beliefs we have and inform the actions we take. So if we want to change our actions, the first step is to hone our words.
- No one can “make” you feel bad. When we state our feelings directly (“I felt hurt”), we own our feelings and indicate to ourselves that we are in control of how we feel.
- It isn’t that you don’t have time; we all have the same amount of time. The truer statement is that you won’t make time or you won’t prioritize it.
- You don’t have to do anything. We create urgency and anxiety with “have-tos” and erase our choice to decide to do things.
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Some Things I Read Last Week:
- HBR: Your Employees Have All the Creativity You Need. Let Them Prove It. “Generating creativity is, in itself, a creative act. Yet most leaders try to scope creativity by defining the path — who should contribute and how — rather than defining the goal and asking for anyone to contribute.”
- The Atlantic: Managing Your Friendships, With Software “Personal-CRM software could be a quick-burning fad, or it could be a conversation we keep having until everyone’s using it and we have to stop pretending it’s so strange—I remember being upset that Facebook provided all of my friends with a cheat sheet, making it impossible to know who could actually remember my birthday without a prompt. Before that, it was sad to admit that the rise of cellphones meant I didn’t have phone numbers memorized anymore.”
What I’m Working On This Week:
Turning questions into statements. Most questions we ask are veiled statements (“Don’t you think we could do better?”). Often, hiding behind a question means that no one gets to know more about your opinions and thoughts.